Well put Molly. Labels are fleeting as everything changes. We give ourselves too much self importance and assume things are static. After food, water and shelter it’s all superfluous. The joy of life comes through experience not through intense self reflection. It’s better to be open to new ideas and try new things than build definitions that limit ourselves.
loved this! ive been thinking about this a lot lately, how shifting focus into that "self-care" or "self-discovery" journey is just a clever way to isolate ourselves so we do not have to deal with the complexity and nuance of human interaction and connection. and that is to do a huge disservice to ourselves. thank you for sharing this, was a joy to read!
I had an epiphany when I was wearing my Apple watch to track my sleep… if I had less than 7 hours of decent sleep I would then be stressed about the lack of sleep, question my energy levels and what I was capable of for the day. It made me more anxious which resulted in worse sleep! A trivial example. Nonetheless, I think it proves the point that being all-knowing about ourselves isn’t always helpful.
Love love this! I wrote about some of the points you touched on in a recent article. This hyper-individualism and ardent desire to honour our boundaries/emotions/energy is leading to the death of community. Everyone wants a village, but no one wants to be a villager.
Oh my god, this was so great and refreshing to read, thank you!!
We tend to forget that we are naturally herd animals and YES, a lot of our identy is built on relationships with other humans. People nowadays act like „can’t nobody tell me nothing“ just to discover that perpetually digging a hole into their brain all alone is not neccesssrily leading them anywhere or contributing to a fulfilled life.
I think the quest to find oneself is just another form of hyper individualism. But because knowing yourself is framed as something productive and “beneficial” to other people as well, people can justify spending so much time thinking about themselves. The funny thing is it boxes them in, and often times they define themselves by parts of themselves they’ve outgrown but haven’t realized yet.
You’ve hit on a big truth here - that having data on ourselves isn’t the same as knowing ourselves. Instead, it just leads to more data overwhelm and “optimization.”
Love this. This puts into words thoughts I've had for a long time. We truly are master overthinkers in this generation. Labels have turned suffocating instead of reassuring and I feel like there has never been a bigger need for "identity" of any sorts. I feel like it has a lot to do with perception and online personas. I think, though awareness for many things is important, the general indifference towards labels in the past almost added a layer of "carelessness" that sometimes made things easier (apart from repressing feelings of course). Keep up the great work!✨
Love this article. I think Introspection is not the problem. The problem is introspection without intention, looking inward with no aim, no direction. That kind of self-analysis quickly turns into rumination and self-fixation. But when introspection has a purpose (to create, to connect, to act, etc.) it becomes movement
The difference is subtle but decisive: introspection without aim can consume us; introspection with aim can transform us!!
Well put Molly. Labels are fleeting as everything changes. We give ourselves too much self importance and assume things are static. After food, water and shelter it’s all superfluous. The joy of life comes through experience not through intense self reflection. It’s better to be open to new ideas and try new things than build definitions that limit ourselves.
So when’s your philosophy roundtable?
LOL I'm working on it!
loved this! ive been thinking about this a lot lately, how shifting focus into that "self-care" or "self-discovery" journey is just a clever way to isolate ourselves so we do not have to deal with the complexity and nuance of human interaction and connection. and that is to do a huge disservice to ourselves. thank you for sharing this, was a joy to read!
I had an epiphany when I was wearing my Apple watch to track my sleep… if I had less than 7 hours of decent sleep I would then be stressed about the lack of sleep, question my energy levels and what I was capable of for the day. It made me more anxious which resulted in worse sleep! A trivial example. Nonetheless, I think it proves the point that being all-knowing about ourselves isn’t always helpful.
Yes! Worse than the quality of sleep itself, it’s the knowing you didn’t sleep well and all the ways it could mess up your day.
Love love this! I wrote about some of the points you touched on in a recent article. This hyper-individualism and ardent desire to honour our boundaries/emotions/energy is leading to the death of community. Everyone wants a village, but no one wants to be a villager.
https://themiddleofeverything.substack.com/p/we-owe-people-something
Oh my god, this was so great and refreshing to read, thank you!!
We tend to forget that we are naturally herd animals and YES, a lot of our identy is built on relationships with other humans. People nowadays act like „can’t nobody tell me nothing“ just to discover that perpetually digging a hole into their brain all alone is not neccesssrily leading them anywhere or contributing to a fulfilled life.
Yes, we are an inherently social species! We're not meant to be so stuck in our heads
I think the quest to find oneself is just another form of hyper individualism. But because knowing yourself is framed as something productive and “beneficial” to other people as well, people can justify spending so much time thinking about themselves. The funny thing is it boxes them in, and often times they define themselves by parts of themselves they’ve outgrown but haven’t realized yet.
You’ve hit on a big truth here - that having data on ourselves isn’t the same as knowing ourselves. Instead, it just leads to more data overwhelm and “optimization.”
it's a fallible proxy for self awareness!
YES
Love this. This puts into words thoughts I've had for a long time. We truly are master overthinkers in this generation. Labels have turned suffocating instead of reassuring and I feel like there has never been a bigger need for "identity" of any sorts. I feel like it has a lot to do with perception and online personas. I think, though awareness for many things is important, the general indifference towards labels in the past almost added a layer of "carelessness" that sometimes made things easier (apart from repressing feelings of course). Keep up the great work!✨
thank you christina! it was truly cathartic to write this as a chronic over thinker myself
Love this article. I think Introspection is not the problem. The problem is introspection without intention, looking inward with no aim, no direction. That kind of self-analysis quickly turns into rumination and self-fixation. But when introspection has a purpose (to create, to connect, to act, etc.) it becomes movement
The difference is subtle but decisive: introspection without aim can consume us; introspection with aim can transform us!!
Thank you Marie! I love that reframe. It is indeed a subtle distinction, but so important.